is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
