All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
