Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he thought i was a dude.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
