Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
