Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i out mim tonsoeep
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
