life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
