My liver just broke up with me...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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