yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Randomize
