Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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