My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
