Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
one might say we're banned from that church
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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