she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
