She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
