put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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