Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
