respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
