I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
