And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
