Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize