I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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