So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
