her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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