Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
