Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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