remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
