"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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