the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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