Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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