i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
