A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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