I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I can't put those talents on a resume
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
