Where is the hickey?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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