AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
