I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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