I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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