The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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