I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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