that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
