I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize