Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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