I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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