I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize