My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
