so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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