it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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