But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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