Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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