She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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