Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
