Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
