Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
