He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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