sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
