just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
