Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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