i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
