So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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