They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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