break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
