Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
