I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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