I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Your cock deserves a montage
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
