i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
