I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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