weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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