Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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