Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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